I guess I’m a little cliché cause the times I most reflect on life is #1 New Years Eve and #2 My Birthday. As the earth gets older and I get older the more I realize time is limited. I’ll admit that scares me. Instead of relishing in every minute of life I find myself constantly making plans for the future. Even to the point of being extra anal and making plan B and C future plans.
I constantly struggle with living in moment. I think one of the biggest reasons is because I base my happiness on what I’m trying to achieve rather than based on what I have NOW. As I turn 33 I realize I have grown a lot, but I also don’t fully appreciate the woman I have become.
In order to “Live for me” there’s some tweaks in my life I want to make. As much as I hope this article helps others, I’m truly writing from the heart and for myself. I’ve been hurt, I’ve hurt others, but I’m human and striving to be a BETTER me.
I’m going with the magical number of 3….so here’s the top 3 things I plan on “cleaning up” this year.
1) Relinquish Control – my favorite saying is “The only person YOU can control is “Yourself.” I’m proud of the fact that this pass year I have actively stopped being the person to plan everything. From location, when, why…I always took the lead. Just because I know Chicago and I’m type A doesn’t mean I don’t like relaxing and just “showing up.” I realized how much Me time I gain when I let others take the lead. My friend planned our girls trip to Michigan. There was a couple hiccups, but the trip was awesome and stress free.
Control just doesn’t deal with planning, but also the situation. I find myself constantly trying to decide who to invite or who will get along with who. It’s exhausting!!! I put all this unnecessary pressure on myself and it needs to STOP!
2) Caring about others perceptions. I am an influencer, a mentor, and hopefully a role model. However, I cannot be EVERYTHING to EVERYONE. I love to date the “laid back guy.” I don’t know what it is, but I definitely have a type. Clean cut, confident, intelligent, and sexy (to me). I notice I gravitate to their “laid backness” because that’s what’s lacking in myself. Every guy I have dated shares the common theme of “strong sense of self.” When I’m running around 24/7 and not being soulfully filled I envy how much they are enjoying a cool, calm, life. I know I can obtain this myself, but first I have to truly define what success means to me. Not to anyone else, but myself. I know for sure I don’t want to be on the 24/7 rollercoaster. My relationships will always triumph over any materialistic thing in life. I mean that. I want to find the person who truly gets me. I revisited the past a couple months back and I felt insulted when the guy I was with basically said “I’m not happy unless I’m doing something.” I know how he meant it and I got really down cause after all this time he still doesn’t know me. It upset me that I apparently didn’t express to him what truly excites, motivates me or the flip side he just didn’t care. Either way “events” don’t excite me. People I love do.
3) Be kind (to ME) We will internally compare, compare, compare, and then dis ourselves. Wait a minute? Pause…STOP. Say to yourself “I LOVE ME.” Repeat it till you believe it. I truly believe you cannot build healthy relationships with others till you build a healthy relationship with yourself. Your number one fan should be you. You’re not perfect, you have things you want to change, but you are YOU. No one else can be you, no one else can do it like YOU. I have been extremely down on myself these last few years. I’m mad depression led to weight gain, I’m mad I’ve let a few people play mind games with me, and I’m mad I’ve excepted less than I’m worth. With all that I LOVE myself enough to know with the help and love of God I can remove myself from any painful situation I find myself in.
I’m going to declare 33 the year I “lean in” to ME. Happy Birthday fellow Leo’s! 🙂 Let YOUR lioness power lead the way. 🙂