This year I was going to skip doing a year end recap post for various reasons. 2022 was a hard year to beat. However, 2023 I really felt a mix of emotions. In some ways it was very healing in demonstrating I’m right where I need to be and continually growing into who I want to be. It was definitely a year of relationship reckoning and realizing I really do have a dope set of core friends.
Last year for my birthday I set sail on a yacht in Saint Lucia. This year I set sail to Detroit, Michigan. LOL Both very different trips, but both equally rewarding because my best friend was there. My best friend is more than a friend, but she’s family. I look at her as an older sister. I love her like an older sister, we argue like sisters, and we even get asked from time to time if we are sisters. During the hardest points of my life she never wavered in making sure I was okay and not only through words, but through actions.
When she moved to Michigan it was hard not having my buddy a 20 minute walk away. I remember heading over to her house straight after therapy for another therapy session with her. I remember breaking down and crying in the mall and spending the rest of the day with her because I was too scared to go home alone. I remember getting ready to leave her house and her asking me if I wanted her to fix me a sandwich (like I said she always takes care of me).
Fast forward…. Holidays are hard. My dad went through hospice in December of 2003 and passed away shortly in January of 2004. As most of us know family dynamics can sometimes be difficult, but I’m extremely lonely around the holidays and never voice it. My close girlfriends magically know how to help me through without me saying a word.
So my bestie calls me Christmas Eve morning. It was a casual call just to talk, but I also knew she was checking on me and making sure I was set for Christmas the next day. What started off as a casual conversation that went on for not 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, hours, but 6 hours and 3 minutes straight to be exact. I know you’re wondering what could we possibly be talking about for that long. Nothing and everything. Cooking, fashion, relationships, house decorating, travel, goals for next year, and her birthday coming up (1/6). She was grocery shopping and running errands and I stayed on the phone with her through all of it and that six hours felt like nothing. I couldn’t believe we had been on the phone for that long.
The next day was Christmas. Again, she called to check on me while she was making her Christmas items to bring to her families house. This time it was a 1 hour conversation and wrapping up on some discussions from the previous day. I remember asking her if she was still going to the gym. She said she fell off, but was planning to get back to it.
Day after Christmas: I was on the phone with my boss having my one on one. She asked me how my holiday was and to be 100% honest it would have really sucked had I not had that six hour convo with my best friend. In that conversation she made me feel like I was sitting around the table with her. I told my boss about my friend and how much she means to me. I could care less she wasn’t with me in person. The way she made me feel loved over the phone was more than enough for me.
Day after Christmas Evening: I was getting ready to meet a friend for dinner when my other best friend called me. She was doing a 3 way call with our other friend. Now we have a group text message thread continuously going called “The Crew.” So when my other friend was doing that 3 way call and I saw someone was missing I immediately knew something was up. I picked up and said, “What’s up with _______.” She shakily said her sister called me and said she had a stoke at the gym this morning and they did surgery on her brain earlier.
Now: That’s where I am right now. It’s December 27th, 2023, Wednesday at 12:41am. If you know me I write everything to make sense. There is really no making sense of this except to get these feelings out. I went from talking to my best friend for six hours not knowing she would have a stroke 2 days later. I can’t sleep. I said a long prayer, I texted her knowing she probably won’t see that text for a minute, and I’m already planning my flight to go see her.
So my 2023 recap is: STOP STOP STOP being so focused and planning for the future. Live in the present, have those 6 hour calls, hug your love ones, and stop being so hard on yourself. Life is fleeting. I will say it over and over again I value my relationships with people 1000 times over material things. You can’t take anything with you, but the way you make each other feel will last a life time.
God Bless 🙏🏾
